My cup, His will

Jesus went to the Mount of Olives to pray about the impending doom of suffering He was about to endure. He prayed: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” -Luke 22:42 NIV His cup. The cup he spoke about at the last supper. In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.” -Luke 22:20 NIV

How must have God felt when He heard Jesus in such desperation to take His cup from Him because He knew what was about to take place? But God. God knew that we as a world would never truly grasp His love for us. We would never understand unless Jesus died. Died. His Son had to die. Just imagine for a minute. You have a child who is gravely ill. They feel death knocking and you know it’s coming too. But a little set of eyes looks up at you and cries “Daddy, please take this away.” Oh my heart. I can’t fully understand what it was like for God because I as a parent wouldn’t have had the willpower to let my child die if I had the serum to save their life. There’s a huge difference between man and God. He is God and we are not. We do not see, nor understand the things that He does. We cannot even begin to understand His decisions.

My thoughts, feelings, or opinions of others doesn’t count. My opinion on my own life doesn’t count. My view is distorted. I can’t see the entire picture but I pray to my Father in Heaven who does. I ask for His guidance in all decisions because what He says should bare more weight than what I feel. My feelings have guided me wrong on so many occasions. Plan crashing, disastrously wrong.

I would have devised a different plan for the fight against Goliath. I would have pulled David back and never let him step one foot closer to Goliath. I would have never seen the power of God in a victorious feat. If God let me weigh in, I would have never voted or agreed for David to be King. He would have never been termed “a man after God’s own heart” and I wouldn’t have learned to seek a relationship and prayer life with God like David had. I would have questioned how God could use a devious, husband killing, wife stealing, adulterous man as King over Israel and be fruitful. I would have only seen someone less than perfect and focused on his glaring flaws. If it were my choice, God would have found a Saint instead of David and I wouldn’t be able to let my past go. I would have compared myself to someone far better than me and I would have been too scared to do what God called me to.

I would have trembled in fear like like Ananias when God called him to seek out Saul. I would have petitioned because Saul was an evil, murderous man who persecuted many Christians. I would have questioned God on His anointing of Saul on the road to Damascus. I would have given up on an evil spirited person becoming the church planting, word spreading, life changing Paul. I would have judged his past and his future would have never included authoring 13 books of the Bible and becoming one of the most influential people in history. He wouldn’t have saved countless lives because of my opinion.

The Lord said to Annanis: “Go, for he is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name before Gentiles, kings, and the children of Israel. For I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name’s sake.” -Acts 9:15-16 Instead, I would have thought that Paul only deserved to suffer and I would have changed the course of history. Judge. I would’ve judged him unfairly and never learned from his faith and endurance through so much pain. I wouldn’t have fully understood what his secret of contentment meant. “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” -2 Corinthians 12:10 NIV

I would have encouraged Joseph’s father not to play favorites and a coat of many colors would never have come into play. I would have told his brothers that we weren’t made for rivalry. I would have lifted Joseph out of the pit that his brothers threw him in. He would have never been sold as a slave and never interpreted dreams in prison. I would have cheated him of becoming an Egyptian King…one who’s brothers fate was held in his hands during a terrible famine. Jesus’ light wouldn’t have shined through Joseph when he showed his brothers what true forgiveness looked like by granting them food and extending love.

I would have begged God to spare Jesus. I would have kept Mary from watching her son’s murder by kidnapping Him and hiding Him from all the evil people who would strip Him naked. Those who would go on to shove a crown of thorns in His head, lash, beat, torment, maul and drive nails through His blameless, innocent hands. There wouldn’t have been a cross, thus no Savior. No salvation. No promise of eternity free from all of the tears, pain, suffering, and loss. I would have changed the eternal fate of the entire world. I would have robbed the entire world. I would have thought I was saving so many by making all of the wrong decisions.

If God handed me a life checklist, I wouldn’t have checked nearly any of the check boxes He had filled in for me. And I would have missed out. I have made a lot of wrong check marks but he used those things to my benefit. He grew me through my mistakes and reminded me I couldn’t do it on my own. Yet so many times I arrogantly trudged on and I always found myself back on my knees crying out in the pit of my despair. He always met me there because He never left me.

If I had it my way, I wouldn’t have suffered the mass amounts of loss that I have endured. But without all of the burdens, I wouldn’t have encountered the relationship with Him. He sculpted every aspect of my life just to bring me closer to Him. He used my pain because I allowed it and I let Him in. Even though I ventured far away from Him on countless occasions, He still saw fit to forgive me and love me anyway.

Broken vessels. Broken and scattered but mended with mercy. God has always used broken, sometimes very broken people. He used hopeless, shameful, devious, corrupt, evil people. He rescued them and reformed them into vessels to carry out His will…to spread His word…to save others who were broken. No one is perfect. We are all broken…some just more broken than others. But we can all be vessels…instruments for God. To be an instrument we must allow God to fine tune us so that He can guide us and use us. We must seek a genuine relationship with Him.

I see your struggle, your pain, and oh how I’d love to pull you out of the pit and save you from the pain but it just wouldn’t be fair. I don’t want to see the struggle, the pain, or sadness. If I had the option of sparing you I would, but I’d be cheating you out of a perfect opportunity to be finely tuned by God. To grow stronger through the pain. To grow closer to Him. I can’t see the whole picture, only the surface and darkness. I can’t see all of the beauty that the pain will produce. I don’t know the end result but He does. In the midst of the darkest of days, I hope your faith grows and that you draw closer to Him. That you seek him more than a friend, a doctor, a counselor, or preacher. I pray that you turn to Him instead of slipping down deeper by turning to a substance to numb the pain. Friend, it may feel like what you’re going through feels like too much to bare but it’s not. It’s never too much to bare when we take it to Him and lay it at His feet. When we approach Him broken heartedly and ask Him for strength. Rest assured He hears your plea.

Even though I hate seeing anyone suffer great loss or endure much pain, it’s not my place to pull anyone out. If I could, I would stop any pain or suffering but by doing so, I’d change the course of God’s perfect plan. His perfect will. And I would be wrong. Instead, I’ll go before Him and petition on your behalf and ask Him to strengthen you. To prepare your heart for whatever His will may be. I’ll ask Him to help you grow amongst the tears and fears of whatever you are going through. I’ll ask Him to protect you from any negative thoughts and feelings that you may have and to give you hope. I’ll ask Him to help you draw closer to Him and to lean on Him and not your own understanding. I’ll ask Him to place loving, caring individuals in your life that would reflect His love. I’ll ask Him to help you lose a little more of yourself in your time of need so that He can fill you up with more of Him. I’ll ask him to help grow your faith in Him. I’ll pray that He uses your life in big and powerful ways. I’ll pray that your unfortunate situation helps you to shine His light in your time of darkness so that others can see Him in you. I’ll pray that He meets all of your needs and that you feel His everlasting love. I’ll pray that the road you are traveling leaves your heart humbly thankful for the growth in not only good times but in the hard times. I’ll pray that the difficult time doesn’t define you as a person but refines you into exactly who it is that He wants you to be. I’ll pray that in all of the brokenness that you allow Him to use you as a vessel and that you see the depth of His love for you even if it doesn’t turn out how you want it to.

It’s hard to not be selfish when praying to God asking Him for all that we want. This is where we should be more like Jesus and ask for what it is that we want IF it be His will. Trading our ways for His is the hardest part but we must in order to become who He created us to be.

We must remember when Jesus asked: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” It didn’t end there…the next verse went on… “An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭22:42-43‬ ‭NIV‬‬
God hasn’t forgotten you…even if He doesn’t take your cup. He will strengthen you. All you have to do is ask.